After many years of thinking “Really need to book at this place” we finally did, and this was Tuesday the 20th April 2010 – worth a note in the diary to reflect in years to come.

If you’ve never been to Bray, it’s definitely worth a visit. At either end of the High Street are 2 3* Michelin restaurants, the Fat Duck, and the Waterside Inn (which I blogged about here). Incredible to have 2 such highly awarded restaurants, in a small village. To top that, just round the corner (kinda) is The Royal Oak, read my blog about that here.

Before you make your way to the Fat Duck, make sure you read the “directions” on the website, as you have to park in the Hind’s Head pub car park. When you come out of this car park driveway, look to your right just around the corner, and you will not see the Fat Duck – that’s because it’s a fairly anonymous looking building. Look up about 20ft and you will see the iconic Fat Duck design hanging down.

Stepping through the door, I was quite amazed at how “small” the place is, with it being quite an old building it’s fairly low ceilings give it a homely feel, and the beams everywhere gives it some age. We arrived at 730PM and was escorted to our table, which was almost bang centre of the dining room. I had got the Fat Duck and the sister pub, the Hinds Head, mixed up as I thought this was going to be a much more compact affair. It wasn’t massively spacious, but you weren’t breathing down each others necks.

First off, some bottled water and then a choice of champagne, which we didn’t partake of. When the menu came I thought “Blimey that’s a big menu!” only to see that 99% of it was bulky leather binding, and the actual menu covered 4 pages, including wines by the glass – nice touch but a bit overkill I think. The choice at the restaurant is only the tasting menu, and this now costs £150 per person (back in 2006 this was around £95 so in 5 years it’s increased by 50% which is a fair chunk)

After informing the staff we had no allergies we got served some bread, which was nice and some un-pasteurised, salted butter (which was ACE as I don’t eat ‘real’ butter that much). During our wait for the first course, we could see other tables getting their various courses, which instilled some excitement, but at the same time gave what was coming away – but hey, even after seeing it and then getting it, it was still very much a WOW feeling.

Fourteen – yes 14 – courses to wade through. Wade isn’t the right word, it sounds like a chore to be done, but it really wasn’t. Make yourself comfortable and I shall begin….

Course 1 – ‘Lime Grove’ – Nitro Poached Green Tea and Lime Mousse

Heston Blumenthal is famous for his zany cooking and science mixes, this being one of them. Before the magic comes, a thin, wooden table is put in front of you on the opposite side of the table. The waiter then brings his ‘kit’ in, which comprised of a siphon which contained the Lime Mousse. This was sprayed onto a spoon and then dipped into the bowl containing the liquid nitrogen. As the nitrogen was denser than the mousse, it simply bobbed about, being ‘cooked’ whilst doing so.

After about 20 seconds or so, the ‘egg’ was lifted out, and the Green Tea powder was dusted over it. To be eaten immediately – so we did. It was cold, but not “brain freeze” cold. The outside was like merangue – the inside was gooey. Just before eating the waiter sprayed a lime infusion above us – I didn’t get a hit off it at all, in fact I got more of the table behind me! But it did add to the dish.

Course 2 – ‘Red Cabbage Gazpacho’ – Pommery Grain Mustard Ice Cream

A very large dish, bit TOO large in my opinion. The spoon wasn’t a real soup-spoon, so it was tricky getting the last bits out, thankfully had bread to dip! So, the gazpacho was quite acidic for my palette, crisp and sharp, but too much vinegar taste. The Ice Cream was sublime. Ice cream, but with heat from the mustard – very nice.

Course 3  – ‘Jelly of Quail, Crayfish cream, Chicken Liver Parfait, Oak Moss and Truffle Toast’

Well, how many ingredients in this course! Wait a minute, I thought you said there was some Moss in this? Where is it then??….

There you go – who said eating at a table was boring! Prior to the liquid nitro being poured to give a very Hollywood Dry Ice effect, we were given a small “breath freshener” which was in a little plastic box

These offered a more intense experience of the moss, so imagine you are walking around in a forest after it has rained – that’s it….

So, prior to tucking in, we were informed of the 4 layers within the main ‘bowl’ and to try and get them all in one scoop, which we did. The overall taste was of the Quail jelly – but it was really ‘beefy’ – and totally overpowered the other ingredients which was a shame as there were so many others. The Truffle Toast was also knocked out by the jelly, I personally think this should have been eaten first, would have got the truffle taste more.

Course 4  – ‘Snail Porridge’ – Jabugo Ham, Shaved Fennel

The famous Snail Porridge. Due to the fact that you couldn’t use flash (although some people did!) and I didn’t have a real macro lens, I had to take a pic of Mark’s dish. It’s a shame I couldn’t get a close-up as the porridge was an INTENSE green in colour, really vibrant and summery. For some reason I thought this was going to be cold, don’t ask me why! It wasn’t. It was fairly warm. The snails simply melted when you bit into them (getting goosebumps typing this, is that wrong?) and the porridge was nice and tender. One minus point for me, which is not what I usually say, but there was too much garlic. I love garlic, but I think it overpowered this dish slightly. Apart from that, I can see why it caused a stir when it first came out!

Onto page 2 of 4 in my tasting notebook!

Course 5  – ‘Roast Fois Gras’, Rhubarb, Braised Konbu and Crab Biscuit

Fois Gras – bring it on. A small helping, but man did this pack flavour! Braised Konbu is the creamy slither underneath the fois gras, it’s edible kelp. Didn’t really taste of anything to be honest! The crab biscuits were fab, really crispy and a deep flavour to them. I was a bit let-down with the rhubarb. It looked really nice on the plate, but it simply didn’t have the intense flavour I was expecting, no tartness, not a lot of much really.

At this point, and with some of the aforementioned dishes having been devoured, I wasn’t ‘blown away’ as much as I thought. The dishes looked excellent, but sometimes the taste didn’t back it up, and also the serving plates were just wrong – more aesthetic over use. Anyways, upwards and onwards – another 9 dishes to go!!

Course 6  – ‘Mock Turtle Soup’ c 1850 – “Mad Hatter Tea”

I’ve never read ‘Alice in Wonderland’ although you don’t have to, to know what happens, who the characters are etc. Also, having seen Heston’s TV show, you kinda get the idea Before the next dish came, the waiters simply laid a bookmark in front of you, to let your imagination get into 1st gear and start going…

“The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily; then he dipped it into his cup of tea….” –

“Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?” –

“No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.” –

“It’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,” said the Queen.

This got us both talking about Alice in Wonderland, and what the next course was going to be! On the rear of the bookmark it gives a brief summary of what Mock Turtle was – it was an alternative, mock, turtle soup that was developed using calves’ head and feet. This is the first course we had ever eaten that made us feel like schoolchildren again – excited with anticipation of what was coming!

The main dish is bought along with a tea cup. The waiting staff then present a wooden box, with a glass window, open it and retrieve a gold watch for watch for each diner. You are then asked to pour hot water over the watch – VOILA! – instant beef stock, fantastic (I am smiling whilst typing this). You then proceed to pour the liquor over the awaiting dish, and end up with Mock Turtle Soup…

The soup had a reallllly deep taste. The Mock Turtle egg had small mushrooms coming out of it, the meat chunks I thought were ham, but it would appear they were Ox tongue. I found the full recipe here if you wanna do it at home! This dish made us both laugh from start to finish. Even after the plate was gone we were still smirking, and giggling – were they magic mushrooms? or had Heston simply got it so right, it made you feel exactly what he wanted? I expect the latter. The taste stayed in our mouths until the next dish arrived, magic…

Course 7  – ‘Sound of the Sea’

First item delivered as part of this course, is a lovely, large sea shell..

Inside this hid an iPod shuffle, with the headphones poking out (you can just see one behind the shell). The main dish then arrived…

This dish has changed recently, due to the unfortunate outbreak of food poisoning that occurred. It consisted of 3 slices of different fish (I didn’t get what they were but I think 1 was tuna, I’m not a fish expert!); a foam; seaweed and ‘sand’. The sand was tapioca and baby eel (at least that’s what I heard, French accents!). It had an odd texture I thought, not as gritty as sand, but occasionally poppy. This, in my opinion, was the weakest dish. I think I would have preferred the original design that had mussels and the like.

Course 8  – ‘Salmon Poached in Liquorice’, Artichokes, Vanilla Mayonnaise, Golden Trout Roe and Manni Olive Oil

The plate was placed onto the table, and the ‘Manni Olive Oil‘ was drizzled in small drops over it. I wondered why they had made such a fuss about this oil, so I Googled it, apparently it’s the world’s most expensive! As with most dishes, I normally taste each component part on its own, which isn’t always as the cook may want them to be eaten, but I like to know each distinct taste. I was a bit ‘concerned’ about the vanilla mayo – and for me it didn’t work. Vanilla is normally a dessert flavour, and this was a bit too different for my poor brain to work out!

The salmon was really well cooked, but I didn’t get any liquorice taste, which was a shame as I love it. The roe was really tasty – popped and exploded in your mouth, salty yet not overpowering. The artichoke was a nice part to the dish – it gave a little bit of texture, but the roe was the main ‘crunch’ in this dish.

Page 3 of 4 in my notepad….

Course 9  – ‘Powdered Anjou Pigeon’ c 1720, Blood pudding and Confit of Umbles

I love pigeon – shame they are known as flying rats!!!! Pigeon was cooked to perfection, blue. Packed flavour and melted in the mouth. The “umbles” =“humbles,” extra animal parts like gizzards and innards traditionally thrown into the mix when cooking e.g., humble pie, were divine. I didn’t realise exactly what they were until I researched them afterwards, but I also like my offal – which is handy when you eat something you don’t really know what it is!! The crackers reminded me of Quavers, not sure if that’s what was expected but they were really yummy. The blood pudding was quite bland, I think a nice chunk of ordinary black pudding would have tasted better. Baby veg was nice too – one of my favourite dishes of the evening.

Course 10  – ‘Hot & Iced Tea’

This is a real mindf*ck. So, you look at it – it’s an Earl Grey infusion, golden orange in colour. You take the first sip and WOWBANGBOOM – you get COLD, yes COLD tea on the left of your tongue, and HOT tea on the right! WTF?!?! You look into the cup to see if you can spot how they have done it, nothing to be seen apart from some bubble. We suspect some form of alginate gel or something. But we sip it again, and giggle, and look confused, and my brain the hurts. The tea had a lovely floral taste to it and I don’t normally like Earl Grey! hoorah!

Course 11  – ‘Taffety Tart’ c 1660, Caramelized Apple, Fennel, Rose and Candied Lemon

The picture doesn’t really give this any justice – I NEED TO BUY A MACRO LENS!!!!! The amount of work put into this was amazing. Ultra thin shards of caramelized apple which was almost like glass – but in a good way. Quinelle of Blackcurrant sorbet that was nice and sharp. Some small fennel sprouts that were so packed with flavour – I know micro-herbs are grown for this, but wow, it was like a full bulb of fennel! A really, really nice sweet – could have done with being a little bit bigger, but was still very nice.

Onto the last page of this visit…..

Course 12  – “The ‘BFG’ ” Black Forest Gateau

Drool, then more drool and a bit more for luck. I had been looking forward to this as soon as I spotted it on the menu. After remembering the time on TV when Heston made his first interpritation I’ve always wondered what it tasted like, well now was the time. I just looked at it for about 30 seconds, taking it all in. The waiter also sprayed some Kirsch essence into the air, to get your taste buds going…

First off, what’s this stalk poking out of the cherry? I was a slither of dried vanilla pod, twisted to look like a cherry stalk! Now THAT is attention to detail.

I then picked up the cherry and popped it into my mouth. I have never had such an intense, full on flavour from one piece of fruit. I reckon this had been steeped in Kirsch for about 6 months! Fantastic. I then started to cut down the small tower of chocolate, going through 3 layers; mousse, sponge, then biscuits and cream. D-I-V-I-N-E.

The ‘wood’ in the centre is a small tuille of chocolate that leads you to the Kirsch ice cream. Simply sublime. My mouth is salivating just looking and thinking about this dessert. The best I have ever had, and I have had some nice ones.

Course 13  – ‘Whisk(e)y Wine Gums’

I’m not a whiskey drinker, so I wasn’t really looking forward that much to this. When it turned up it was like “heheh, right, wine gums on a picture frame”. I suppose it makes a bit of sense, so you can see where the whiskey is actually from. Each little gum was in the shape of a bottle, about 2cm in height. You simply placed them in your mouth and let them dissolve. Initially you think “hmm, not great this, can’t taste anything” and then, when the last part dissolves, you get a hit of the whiskey. My favourite was number 1, which was the Glenlivet.

Course 14  – ‘Like a Kid In A Sweet Shop’

When this course arrived on our table, we both giggled again, and instantly felt like kid’s in a sweet shop! Reading the menu it bought back memories, especially the Coconut baccy. (on the table from the start was a small form that allowed you to put down what decade you grew up in, and what food memories you had. Mine was the 70′s and Coconut Tobacco was the first thing I wrote without knowing it was in this menu!)

The menu says “Smell me!”. So I reached in and grabbed the aerated chocolate mandarin jelly. Opened the packaging and got a hit of citrus. Popped the chocolate in and thought of Aero bars – I forgot to take a pic!!!! Now this is sweets, so I really need to concentrate (you can find lots of pics in Flickr – just google the missing ones!)

Next, was the coconut baccy

As soon as I opened the ‘baccy pouch’ I was 6 yrs old again. This was slightly thicker cut than I remember but the taste was spot on. I can remember buying this, along with candy cigarettes (heheh like that would ever happen now!) and my 10p Lucky Bag!! Due to mini being younger, he didn’t have a clue about this stuff – thankfully that meant more for me as I snaffed his helping!

After finishing the baccy, I then grabbed the Apple Caramel – again no pic as this sweet didn’t need you to unwrap it! Cutting out the middle man, great idea. Popped it straight into my mouth, and the apple and caramel taste was umptious.

Finally, a little envelope with a wax seal. Inside it was a playing card, the Queen of Hearts

Head scratching time. So what is this? It’s a playing card right? WRONG!!! It’s obviously an EDIBLE playing card. Yes, edible. Nibble the corner and you go into a strawberry filling. This was OUTSTANDING. The amount of work put into this alone is phenomenal….

Phew!!!! 14 courses, 4 hours…..what an absolutely fantastic, amazing, funny, tasteful evening. During the meal we had a bottle of Wiebelsberg Riesling 2005, which was a good choice as it worked with most of the dishes. We left with our memento’s; Alice in Wonderland bookmark, a copy of the menu each, the Sweet Shop bag, and a real happy feeling. Odd that, feeling happy and kinda giddy after a meal – this is the effect you will have if you goto the Fat Duck. Ok, it’s not cheap (the bill was enough for a weekend away) but it’s not about the money. It’s about the experience, and this is what the Fat Duck is all about. You can goto other Michelin starred restaurants and have fabulous food, but this place is on its own (apart from El Bulli which is now closing) – but for a place like this to be in the UK is great. Get there if you can, sell an organ, pimp your other half out or just SAVE!! It is worth every penny…..